Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
