I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
