After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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