dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
