You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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