I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
