I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
