We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
