Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
