she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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