He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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