I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
