i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
