I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
