He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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