cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
