Your tits are I can't wait for
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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