Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
