he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
