Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
