My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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