think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
