How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
