Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
