Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
