I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Terrible idea I love it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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