The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
