So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
