Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
