Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
