I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
