I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
