i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
