it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
