11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
