the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
