This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
