I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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