Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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