I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
