Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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