i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
