you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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