On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's blow job season.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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