i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
