i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
being pregnant is like rehab
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
