My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
