Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
