She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
