He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
