Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
