I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
