It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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