I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
